Goodbye Feet

This is probably the best — or mose incomprehensible — spam. It’s actually signed by the sender, Mr. Cyril Inman.

David wants nothing to do with Elvis

Are you spening too much on your RXs
Free FedEx Overnight on All Orders
save up to 70% [link deleted]

Cyril Inman

I just got this company-wide email: 

Across the street in front of the Washington Mutual Tower (where they are playing the live music) they are handing out free blue bunny ice cream sandwiches.  FYI

This might be a you-had-to-be-there kind of thing, but I was just chatting with my friend Sam about a recent incident with a house centipede. 

Sam says (12:18 PM):
i don’t think so
Leslie says (12:18 PM):
i’m wrong
Sam says (12:18 PM):
it has lots of legs
Leslie says (12:18 PM):
i just looked
Leslie says (12:18 PM):
i posted a couple of comments
Leslie says (12:18 PM):
i hate bugs!!!
Leslie says (12:18 PM):
especially big ones!
Leslie says (12:19 PM):
with legs legs legs
Sam says (12:19 PM):
oh god me too
Sam says (12:19 PM):
i felt like such a baby
Sam says (12:19 PM):
and the adrenaline rush from it!
Leslie says (12:19 PM):
i would have been crying
Sam says (12:19 PM):
it kept me up!
Leslie says (12:19 PM):
seriously
Sam says (12:19 PM):
i called john
Sam says (12:19 PM):
he was at game night
Leslie says (12:19 PM):
i would have been up all night
Sam says (12:20 PM):
and he was all playing i cool as i was being the hysterical female
Sam says (12:20 PM):
i felt so stupid
Leslie says (12:20 PM):
so john though, eh?  playing cool
Sam says (12:20 PM):
cause he was talking at a table with four other guys who were waiting for him to take his turn
Leslie says (12:20 PM):
andy doesn’t make fun of me or mind when i make him get the spider off the bathroom ceiling kind of thing.  i’ am grateful for that
Sam says (12:21 PM):
john is very good too usually
Sam says (12:21 PM):
there was another house cent he killed the other day in the bedroom but not as big
Sam says (12:21 PM):
this one was insane
Sam says (12:21 PM):
and they bite!
Sam says (12:21 PM):
and give flu like symptoms
Leslie says (12:21 PM):
NOOOOOOOOOO WWWWWWWWWWAYYYYYYYYYYY
Leslie says (12:21 PM):
HOLY FUCK
Sam says (12:21 PM):
I KNOW!
Sam says (12:21 PM):
lol
. . .
Leslie says (12:26 PM):
did you see the wiki entry on house centipede?
Leslie says (12:26 PM):
they FEEED ON FUCKING COCKROACHES!
Sam says (12:26 PM):
yep
Sam says (12:26 PM):
it’s insane
Sam says (12:26 PM):
thats how disgusting they are
Sam says (12:27 PM):
though I like that they eat the cockroaches
Leslie says (12:27 PM):
i almost commented again, but didn’t think i should put the word “fucking” on your blog
Sam says (12:27 PM):
oh go ahead
Sam says (12:27 PM):
the house cenipede warrants it
Leslie says (12:27 PM):
and the F word is part of any adjective i can think of about them
Leslie says (12:27 PM):
ha
Leslie says (12:27 PM):
ok
Leslie says (12:31 PM):
i got a little carried away
Leslie says (12:31 PM):
ya got my whole stream of consciousness involving the discovery of house centipedes
Sam says (12:32 PM):
lol
Sam says (12:33 PM):
your comments made my day
Sam says (12:33 PM):
i am crying with laughter
Leslie says (12:33 PM):
hee
. . .
Leslie says (12:34 PM):
anyway, i’m getting lunch now
Sam says (12:35 PM):
check it for ticks
Sam says (12:35 PM):
and fruit fly eggs
Sam says (12:35 PM):
maybe get somthing cooking at very high temperature
Leslie says (12:36 PM):
i think i just have to get out of here … i;m alone in my office and everyone else on my floor of the firm is gone
Leslie says (12:36 PM):
i’m scared!
Sam says (12:36 PM):
lol
Leslie says (12:36 PM):
i’m so scared i’m going to starbucks!
Sam says (12:36 PM):
arm yourself
Sam says (12:36 PM):
you’ll be fine
Sam says (12:36 PM):
I think i need to buy some spray
Sam says (12:36 PM):
the thing is, i wouldn’t hav wanted to leave that bug out of my site
Leslie says (12:37 PM):
of course not
Sam says (12:37 PM):
cause then I wouldn’t know where it went
Leslie says (12:37 PM):
it coudl have crawled up the sheets
Sam says (12:37 PM):
EXACTLY!
Sam says (12:37 PM):
I need to get a bed stat
Leslie says (12:37 PM):
mosquito net
Sam says (12:37 PM):
At least i’ll be more elevated
Leslie says (12:37 PM):
yep, you definitely need a mosquito net
Sam says (12:37 PM):
in fact i need a hermetically sealed bubble
Sam says (12:37 PM):
lolololol
Sam says (12:38 PM):
that thought just toally cracked me up
Sam says (12:38 PM):
the bubble around the bed
Leslie says (12:38 PM):
i know!
Sam says (12:38 PM):
we’d have to invite the cats in
Leslie says (12:38 PM):
i’m totally giggling at that
Sam says (12:38 PM):
and it would make a decompression noise when we opened the door
Sam says (12:38 PM):
me too
Leslie says (12:38 PM):
you’ll have to get one around your couch too
Leslie says (12:38 PM):
and your desk
Sam says (12:38 PM):
and john would have to be on look out as i let them in to make sure nothing BAD followed behind
Leslie says (12:38 PM):
a series of bubbles
Sam says (12:39 PM):
lololololololol
Leslie says (12:39 PM):
OOOh!  tunnels!
Leslie says (12:39 PM):
bubble tunnels
Sam says (12:39 PM):
omg
Sam says (12:39 PM):
this is insane
Sam says (12:39 PM):
and so perfect
Sam says (12:39 PM):
i would never have to touch a bug again
Sam says (12:39 PM):
seriously i cannot stop laughing
Leslie says (12:39 PM):
i don’t want to close the conversation
Leslie says (12:40 PM):
i want to read it later and crack myself up
Leslie says (12:40 PM):
when i’m falling asleep at 3:00
 

I push the button in the elevator that says “14,” but I actually work on the 13th floor.